From Poppy Seeds to Peaches . . .

Think about the size of a poppy seed for a minute.

 Now think about a mustard seed and then a sesame seed.

 When we found out our shots and procedures “worked” these babies were the size of poppy seeds. Of course at that time we didn’t know there were TWO! We just thought there was one tiny little poppy seed navigating it’s way through a dark world in hopes that one day it would become a. . . Well, we all know it was already a baby, so I guess it’s hope was to become a bigger baby (see, they really are going to take after their dad!). :)  Since then they’ve graduated from poppy to mustard to sesame seeds, eventually becoming grapes, limes and now they are peaches!

 WOW! That’s a huge difference from a poppy seed! And last week while I was in Lincoln I picked up one of those home Doppler thingy’s so I can listen to their heartbeats at home. Of course on the package it says “For late 2nd Trimester” and I’m in my late 1st trimester, but I thought it couldn’t really hurt. Besides I had heard from a few ladies in my “Grief Journey’s Rainbow Pregnancy Group” that they heard heartbeats around 10 weeks with a home Doppler, so I was hoping it would work. I’m pleased to say that I’ve heard them several times. Sometimes it takes a while to “find them”, but quite often I’ve heard them loud and strong. That was until last night before bed. Of course I’d had kind of a stressful day yesterday, but I hadn’t listened to them that day so I thought I’d take a quick listen before heading up to bed. Knowing I had a doctor’s appointment in the morning made me want to find them even more! As I laid on the futon in the office/spare room I started searching for the fast whoosh-whoosh-whoosh of their tiny little hearts. I placed the Doppler where I had been hearing them at – nothing. I moved it centimeter by centimeter and couldn’t find them. Corey told me I really needed to get to sleep so I should bring it upstairs and listen in bed. So I quickly got ready for bed and brought along my little machine and ear buds. As I lay there I thought I might have heard them once or twice, but not near as strong as I had heard them before, and as I was searching I drifted off to sleep. (I think that was Corey’s plan in the first place!) When I woke up I didn’t really have time to try and re-listen, so I got ready and left for my appointment.

 I admitted to my nurse about being a bit fearful and struggling with that. We both agreed that fear was a very common emotion in a pregnancy after a loss, especially after a devastating loss like we suffered when Calleigh Joy went to heaven instead of living with us. So we went in the room, I laid on the table and the cold gel got squirted on my tummy. Burrrrrrr, I hadn’t had an ultrasound like that since Calleigh. But I didn’t allow my mind to go there. I searched the screen for a fluttering heart, but what I saw first put all my worries at ease. Two very squirmy little babies. That would explain not finding their heartbeats last night! The nurse was having a hard time “capturing” it on the screen to hear them. They kept moving out of the frame! She did manage to get some pictures, probably not as clear as she would’ve liked but they were so fun to watch.

So once again I thank each and every one of you for your prayers! I thank you for caring, for loving us, for being there for us. . . Thank you! I'll go back in two weeks and although my doctor couldn't give me a 100% guarantee that everything would be OK (I would actually be concerned if he did!) he did say he was very confident that I would not suffer from a miscarriage! He said that at this point we've seen them so many times and every time they've looked good that he would be very surprised if something bad happened at this point! That was pretty much exactly what I needed to hear!

 So here they are! Our little peaches!

Love and Peace to All!!