Tuesday, April 10, 2012

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish…

I love Dr. Seuss books! I recently heard my mom say that she never liked Dr. Seuss and never read it to us kids – that explains so much about my childhood! (just kidding mom!) But seriously, I do really like Dr. Seuss – I like his whimsical way of writing, I like his nonsense words that when read in the context of his books they just flow from the readers mouth, I like the imagination that evokes while reading his works, I like trying to read the stories so fast that your tongue can not help but get caught and twisted up. And further more, I liked reading Dr. Seuss books to Justen and Taylor while they were young simply because I loved to see the pleasure on their faces while the quirky stories were unfolding in front of them.

When Justen was about 3 we bought him this cute little white t-shirt and it said “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” and had the Dr. Seuss pictures that went along with each of them. I loved dressing him in that little shirt and it was the kind of top that could be worn by a boy or girl so of course that was one of the things we saved for Taylor! I know I have a picture of Taylor in that shirt (it was during her first year in Cubbies), but I don’t believe I remember seeing one of Justen. It’s funny how we are as parents. If I knew then what I know now I would have been a lot more purposeful about documenting the times and things that I enjoyed with my kids, but at the time they were little I just didn’t think what we were doing on a daily basis was that big of a deal. Well, now that Justen is half way across the country and Taylor is already sixteen, I really wish I would’ve paused more back then to really appreciate our day to day activities – like dressing Justen in a sweet little t-shirt with colorful fish on it!



Those feelings make me miss Calleigh even more! Realizing every day what I will NOT have with her. No Dr. Seuss books, no swinging on the swing set, no flying like an airplane on daddy’s legs as he lies on the floor… Wow, I sure do miss that little girl. I also miss what kind of big sister she would have been to her two little sisters…, or her two little brothers…, or her little brother and little sister…

Yep, we saw our babies yesterday at our ultrasound and they were a PERFECT PAIR! Two babies, two sacks, two heartbeats, two heads, four arms, four legs… you get the point!
T.W.O.



I can’t even begin to articulate the emotions that were going through my head yesterday as we saw them. Two babies. Corey just kept saying, “two, two, two…” over and over again!

The night before my appointment Corey and I decided that we were going to stop at the grocery store before hand since right after I needed to get back to work. There is a newer store not far from my doctor’s office in Omaha that I have stopped at frequently during my many trips up there over the past several months. So yesterday we got ready and left early so we could get that done beforehand, and as I was about finished I found myself wandering aimlessly through aisles I’d already been in or ones I didn’t need anything out of. Corey exclaimed that as nervous as I was I couldn’t wander around the store forever, I needed to face my fear and get to my appointment.

The short drive from the store to the office was pretty quiet. I had a “nervous, cautiously excited, scared, slightly anxious” thing going on. I was afraid of what the ultrasound would show. I was afraid of what the ultrasound would not show. NOT that I was afraid of multiples, I already told Corey that I strongly believed there were two. (and he kept telling me to stop talking myself in to two!) :) NOT that I was afraid of something being wrong with the baby because we accepted the fact that God is in control. I think I was afraid of seeing the baby because I had already fallen madly-head-over-heels-in-love with the little one I was carrying (even though I told myself I would NOT get so attached until it was here). We had already “leaked” our news to many people (even though I told myself that if we got pregnant again I wouldn’t tell a soul until I couldn’t hide it anymore). We had given this child to God to do with what He willed, but as much as I meant it, I still knew my heart would break if He decided to take this baby too!

So we entered the office and Chris, the receptionist, met us with a huge smile. She asked how I had been feeling and I told her fine, but nervous! She told me she understood completely, but just try to stay calm. After only a few minutes in the waiting room my name was called and it was time to go back. . . It was right then that I realized why this was so hard for me. The last time I had an ultrasound done WHILE PREGNANT was to confirm that Calleigh Joy’s life and soul was no longer with us on this earth. The last time I had laid down on an ultrasound table WHILE PREGNANT was at Dr. Kinney’s office that awful day of January 17th, 2011. Sure, I had had lots of ultrasounds over the past 14 months, but they were all done with an empty womb hoping beyond hope that a follicle would grow, release and get fertilized. Now, as I walked back to that room that I had had at least 7 scans in, my mind raced back to Calleigh’s last ultrasound. “Lord”, I prayed, “please let me see a heartbeat”.

Before my technician even started the scan she was so bubbly and chatty, I had dealt with her a couple other times and I really like her. She was so optimistic, positive and didn’t really seem like she had a care in the world. She was very confident that we would see a heartbeat. I told her I wished that I were as sure as she was. She gave me a quick wink and got started. Well about 2 seconds in to it she said, “do you see what I see?” I sure did!! TWO sacks, perfectly formed with a little tiny baby inside each sack. As my eyes strained to decipher where there heartbeat should be, my nurse said “OK, now for what you’ve been waiting to see” as she zoomed in on Twin A’s heart. The fluttering of that teensy tiny little organ was what this dragged-through-the-mud-and-stomped-on-mommy needed to see. It was a beautiful site! Then she zoned in on it with these two lines and we heard it audibly – like a train in water! It was so peaceful, I would’ve laid there all day and listened to that if they would’ve let me! 156 beats per minute. I was told the rate should be at least 100 by this stage, then I was worried that it was too high. No, she assured me, it was PERFECT, healthy and strong. After taking a few more measurements of Twin A she moved the machine up towards Twin B. “There it is momma, another perfect heartbeat.” Wow, I was feeling blessed beyond measure! Twin B’s heart rate was 148 – well in to the normal range! The rest of Twin B’s measurements were great and as she finished up she told us that all of the pictures she took were for us, she just needed to record some numbers off of them and she’d hand them over.




The ride home was full of text and picture sending messages and replies and before I knew it we were back in Palmyra and I had to get ready for work. I can not thank my friends and family for the support we were shown yesterday. It would’ve been easy for people to not act happy considering we really are very early on in this pregnancy and a lot can still go very wrong! But the outpouring of love Corey and I felt yesterday afternoon and evening was beyond imaginable. Between the constant stream of texts and messages on facebook with well-wishers assuring us they are praying for us, to one friend saying “ARE YOU FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO BURST!”, and another friend exclaimed “I want to take a step of faith and celebrate at the same time” as she invited me to an evening out. From a precious Skype time last evening with my beautiful nieces in North Carolina (and their parents!) to my S-I-L here assuring me that if/when I get put on bed rest she’ll make sure everything is taken care of.

All I can say is WOW – when I ask you people to show us love and support and positive feedback you all sure do listen!!!

And as I was getting ready for bed last night I had the urge to read “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish” to Twin A and Twin B – so I did just that!

Love and Peace to All! : )

18 comments:

  1. I could not even finish reading I had to say YEAAAAAAAA!!!!!! ok going back to read the rest :)

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  2. Kindy and Corey,
    CONGRATULATIONS !!!!
    I am still crying (tears of happiness) after reading this news!

    CONGRATULATIONS !!!
    Lisa H.

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  3. Ok read the rest, I am so very happy for you. I am committed to praying for those two precious babies to get to go home with you! Hugs Kindy I am so very thrilled :)

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    1. Tesha, THANK YOU! It means more to me than you'll know that you've committed to praying for these two miracles inside me! :) Such an emotional journey!

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  4. So sweet! I also had a onesie with "One fish, two fish..." for J, A, and E. Just that alone sent me on a sentimental journey but nothing can trump your news. You're on my heart everyday, praying for you and those sweet babies! Now I can't wait for them to get here and to hold them (if you ever let them go!)

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    1. Ashley, I'm sure I'll let one at a time go for a couple minutes once or twice a day! :) Thanks for the prayers!!

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  5. Congratulations! I wasn't on FB last night - this is news! great news for you!! Happiness and prayers to you and yours!

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    1. Thanks Wendy! :) Really appreciate the prayers!

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  6. Kindy, I'm SOOOO happy for you! I always wanted twins...but will probably never happen!! I will be praying for you these next months, for peace and patience. Kelly Lanka

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    1. Kelly, ME TOO! (always wanted twins!) Thanks for the prayers, we will definitely need them! :)

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  7. Thanks for sharing... what wonderful news :) I'm sure you were so excited to see those 2 little heartbeats! Such a wonderful sound! Praying this pregnancy goes really well for you.

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    1. Thanks Rebecca!! So scary and emotional! Prayers are sure welcome and needed! :)

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  8. So overjoyed for you friend. Just so, so overjoyed. What a good and gracious God we have!!! <3

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    1. Lori, <3 Love you! Praying for YOU! We all know life isn't fair, but God is good and aren't we glad this is not our home!!!! :)

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  9. I am visting from Tesha's link up :)
    Congrats on your twins!!!

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  10. Kindy I am so glad you linked up. I am praying for those twins!

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